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giovedì 10 maggio 2012

Giovedì Roomeeffoc: what is love - Che cosa è l'amore



Roomeeffoc Thursday 
The provoking post

Giovedì Roomeeffoc
La provocazione per riflettere

Il testo in italiano è in corso di traduzione. Scusate il ritardo




Next english post Tuesday May 15th  
Prossimo post Sabato Italiano 12 maggio






There are few books that we are using extensively in our education strategy and in our job as parenting consultant and lecturers: we mentioned several time in this blog the works of Gary Chapman and his wife, the two books written by Mariolina Migliarese (and let me strongly suggest to our foreigners readers to work for a translation of these texts in their own language) and the book by Meg Meeker Strong Father Strong Daughter.
We want to use for this roomeeffoc post some sentences that were offered by Mariolina  in one of her conferences to present her books. We believe they are strong and they can provide a powerful food for thoughts.
Let’s first state them before writing some comments while waiting for yours.
Marriage should be define as that specific relation between a man and a woman whose timeframe is forever
Only living a “forever relation” you feel at ease to show your weaknesses and frailties
Living together and being married pretend and produce two different kind of relation
We won’t of course attack those who have decided to skip or delay marriage, we are just discussing why we do believe that indissoluble marriage is the best condition to set a family and to live together.
The first sentence simply state that there are many kind of relation that link a man and a woman and marriage should be the  one defined by indissolubility, by a life together without end.
Actually the “forever” condition is the only one that allows a couple to love without limitations. Please note that I wrote allows and not implies. Since people have a free will, it’s their job to make this condition possible. Having said so it is clear that once you feel protected by a shield of love that gives before asking, you feel free and at ease to show your limitations since you can rely upon a spouse that will forgive you and help you to change. One of the goal of marriage is mutual improvement. To improve we need to be aware of our weaknesses and show them to whom can help us to overcome them.
If you believe that love can be based on excellent performances, and that your life together will last till keep them at the highest  possible level, you will start soon to lie to cover your mistakes and frailties, thus jeopardizing your relation.
This is why the output of marriage and living together implies and produces two different kind of relation, one based on gratuity while the other one is based on reciprocal satisfaction.
Once more I like to state that I do not want to criticize neither claim that people who are not married are bad people. Nothing is farthest in my mind.
I just like to offer a position to discuss. Nothing more.
And now it’s up to you. 

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